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mydogsnokes:

i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don’t die after 2 days

formulhated:

crockercrocs:

sir-laughsalot:

laughoutloudrightnow:

pizzaforpresident:

have you ever seen a chicken strip

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There are two kinds of people in this world.

this is my favorite post on this whole entire website

i use the word fuck so excessively i sometimes forget it’s a swear word

grebnesieh:

Grab her booty in front of dudes who want her.


me:  whats your opinion on tampons
little brother:  they're little fuzzy sticks on strings
me:  then you are ultimately more mature than most boys
little brother:  why
me:  for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina
little brother:  well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those
me:  
little brother:  
me:  that is a fantastic point

orgasm:

ALL WATER DOES NOT TASTE THE SAME

meladoodle:

yeah i understand you’re charging me for bank robbery, but i licked the money so therefore it is mine

despairnaegami:

personasanta:

does anybody else think tired and sleepy mean two totally different things

sleepy is cute and dozing off and happy but tired is 10 cups of coffee and murder